Five Reasons Why You Should Write A Post Attacking The iPhone Five

Apple has just announced the iPhone 5 and has taken a record number of pre-orders. No amount of success will derail the Apple haters however so there have been plenty of posts attacking the iPhone 5. Here’s MY post on why you should write a post that does the same thing.

1. Attacking the iPhone 5 is better link bait than a picture of Justin what’s his name having sex with his cat.

2. Attacking the iPhone makes you feel better about not being at the right place in your upgrade cycle or simply being unable to afford the new iPhone.

3. Attacking the iPhone makes you look like one of the cool kids – because the cool kids never want anything that the majority of us think is cool.

4. Attacking the iPhone makes you look smart. The iPhone is for stupid people who just want to plug their phone into their computer and have it work. The other phones are for smart people who know to program (and want to spend hours configuring their phones) while the rest of us are just using ours right out of the box.

5. Attacking the iPhone makes you look like a rebel because after all – Apple is now “the man.” It’s the most successful company on earth.

Seriously – number one is the main reason people attack the iPhone. It’s always going to assure a great deal of traffic to your site when you attack anything Apple. I say that’s lame. But hey – whatever gets you through the night.

I have been using the iPhone since day one. I have grown tired of the Apple eco-system and I do wish the iPhone at least used a standardized USB connector etc., but, that said, I can’t find anything better. I don’t care about loading lots of untried apps. So far that’s crippled my Android phone to the point that I’ve had to wipe it twice. NFC support? PLEASE! Not a chance I’ll ever trust that. The thieves will have ways to steal my entire bank account right off my phone before the so-called virus protection and security companies will know how to stop them. I don’t care about pen support or file management or third party keyboards (I like the Apple keyboard just fine.) I mainly want four things from my phone. First – shock – I want the damn phone to work like a phone. I want to call people on it. I want them to call me. Second, I want to check my email. Any smartphone can do that. Third, I want a decent camera that makes it easy to get the pictures onto my computer. Last – I want to be able to check and post to my Twitter account. That’s it – that’s all. That can all be done very well on an iPhone.

I’ve tried using Android phones three times. The first two times were beyond horrible. It was worse than a horror movie. The current version of Android is MUCH better than it used to be. I think it borders on being good, but there are still way too many issues for a guy like me to switch. I like the Samsung S3. I really like the big screen and will miss it, but it is frustrating to have to constantly work on the thing to get it to operate properly. The flexibility you enjoy on an Android comes with a heavy price. Rogue apps run you out of battery life, resources or just notify you to death. There is still nothing and I mean nothing as seamless and easy as the iTunes store that works for Android. And the smugness of the Android community bores me. Every time I ask for help I get these looks like – what are you stupid? I guess I am. I can’t make the Android phone do what I want it to – but I CAN make the iPhone do EVERYTHING I need it to.

I’ll keep playing with both – but for now – am switching back to the iPhone – version 5 – as my main cell phone.

Bring the hate. I couldn’t care less – it’s only a damn phone people – not a religion.

23 thoughts on “Five Reasons Why You Should Write A Post Attacking The iPhone Five

  1. Heard of Windows Phone? It does what you need much faster than an iPhone and looks far better doing it too. People need to forget that Android and iOS aren’t the only two available platforms. :)

    • No I haven’t heard of the Windows phone and looking at sales figures nobody else has either. I am incredibly doubtful that a Windows phone does anything well since I’ve never seen Windows do anything well – I don’t think people need more blue screens of death – but hey – if you like it – good for you.

      • If you’ve looked at the sales figures then you definitely have looked at the OS too. But hey – if you thinking living in 2007 is cool, then good for you. I don’t have anything against your choice – I just don’t believe that the iPhone is the god phone that everyone makes it out to be. It’s no longer innovative. And you say you’ve never seen Windows do anything well? You are talking about the best-selling OS in history, so I guess there must be some reason for it.

      • @Naeem feel free to carry the Windows flag as far as you like. This post is about the iPhone not operating systems. I couldn’t care less how many people are forced to buy the Windows OS because that’s what their boss makes them use. This is about the iPhone. I am living in 2012 – and I don’t have anything against your choice. I just think you’re delusional. And being popular isn’t the only metric of being right. For hundreds of years more people thought the earth was flat than round. Did that make them right? Good luck with your Windows phone. I am sure that Microsoft is happy to know there is actually one Windows Phone fanboy in the world. Maybe you can generate enough support to get another guy to join you – and then you’ll rock the world like the Zune did – oh wait. Never mind.

  2. It’s only the best-selling OS in history because it comes pre-installed on almost EVERY single PC and laptop. Ask the average Joe on the street and he’d be hard-pressed to name another OS. It’s a bit like the UK being forced to use British Telecom for years until cable came along.

    People seem to forget that a phone is primarily to make calls with. All I want my phone to do is make/receive calls and texts and play a bit of music. I’m more than happy with my 4S. This is my first iPhone, my husband bought it for me for Christmas last year. I was utterly resistant to all ‘smart’ phones until I had to use his 4S for a few weeks. I became utterly smitten within about 10 minutes.

    I used to use a Blackberry for work long before they got all fashionable and I hated it. You think they’re bad now, imagine what they were like a few years ago! I’ve always disliked hype and tend to steer clear of things that are heavily on-trend. But for my needs, the iPhone is perfect. If you think that means that I’m 5 years behind everyone else, then fine. You’re entitled to your opinion and I don’t have to agree with it. It does exactly what I need it to do, and I’ve got Siri to talk to when I feel lonely.

  3. I think Windows Phone warrants a mention these days because of (flagship WP maker) Nokia’s focus on camera technology. That having been said, I’m not sure how important the camera is to you since you and most of your readers are photographers and likely always have a “pro” camera with you. I also like the fact that Microsoft has taken a “happy medium” approach in between Apple’s “walled garden” and Android’s wide-open-ness, if that makes sense. Not being a fanboy, and certainly not trashing the iPhone, but I would like to see more people give this third option a chance.

  4. Being a car guy, I read an analogy that might interest you. Someone on some site (sorry, don’t remember where) was addressing the complaints that the 5 is “boring”. It is. Slightly bigger screen, better processor and (finally) 4G. He also compared it to the Porsche 911 which is approaching it’s 50(!) anniversary and has also made boring, incremental updates throughout its life. That said, the 911 is still a benchmark sportscar depite the fact you can look at a 1964 version of it and clearly see the origins. It’s also an icon; even non-car people can spot one.

    That’s the good.

    The bad? Apple has turned into the company it hated in those 1984 commercials. Implementing a new connector? About time. Not making it micoUSB and then charging $29 for an adapter?! Borderline criminal. You like iTunes? Really? I’ve got the Galaxy S3 and the Mrs. has an iPhone (5 preordered). I loathe being tied to iTunes with her phone or the iPad.

    At this point, both OS are mature and it really is a matter of choice, which I’m glad we have. The GooglePlay store is kind of the wild west, but apps that make you wipe your phone? Please list them to help others avoid them.

    I do find it amusing that the most militant iPhone fanboys (Not you. You tried Android at least.) are the ones who have jailbroken their phones so they can make changes to them like… an Android phone. Irony.

    • @C. Smith anyone who says a 911 is boring has never driven one :) I just ordered a new 991 body style 911 Carrera S and Motor Trend says it’s the best drivers car on the market – pitting it against cars that cost two and a half times more. Sorry to go off topic but when you talk cars you really get my attention :)

      • As a current Cayman S and former 928s4 owner, -I’m- not saying a 911 is boring! I just meant that those that criticize Porsche usually start with some form of “Ho hum. New model. Looks the same as the last one…”

        If it ain’t broke…

  5. Pingback: Five Reasons Why You Should Write A Post Attacking The iPhone Five « BlackOctopusInc. My Digital Workbook

  6. iOS vs Android. The android platform is a good platform as a concept until you get to the various devices made by different vendors that it has to work on as well as the butchering that the various carriers do to the OS on the phone that you may not be able remove or fix without rooting it. iOS designed to run on a controlled set of devices that are engendered allong with the OS making the OS and device work better together. Apple also controls what the varlets do with the phone. So in the end the Apple products do end up with better integration and functionallity. But Aneroid has a lot going for it if we could get the carriers hands out of it and have it focused on solving actual issues and not chasing a technology that isn’t solution to any real current issue for example NFC is a neat idea but what day to day solution does it provide.

    As for Windows phone it has to overcome the lackluster image from Windows mobile. MS has put themselves in the PDA/phone arena with a decent product and then let it die leaving early adopters hanging.

    • Charles – LOL this was a tongue in cheek post about why you should bash the iPhone – not really intended to provoke white papers about which is better – buy and use whichever one you like – I really don’t care – as I said in the post it’s a phone not a religion.

  7. Hit the nail on the head Scott.

    I’ve noticed that the Android & Windows crowd always seem to have a need to knock every Apple product announcement with smugness and venom at the least bit of provocation.

    It’s a tool people, I (and others) prefer tools made by Apple, you may prefer tools made by Samsung or HP or any number of other tool manufacturers. In the end, you get the same job done (or at least the job you set out to do).

  8. Overall, I like the iPhone and I would probably be very happy with a v3. I have the same basic requirements as you and companies trying to sell me the newest “golly-gee-wiz” features are barking up the wrong tree. I also don’t care if the newest phone is 24% slimmer. The last one is skinny enough and a slightly thicker phone is going to be a bit stronger. They can fill the space with more battery and I’d be happier. The first reason I don’t have one is cost. At the moment, the utility of a smart phone is not worth paying twice the money for phone service. The second reason is Apple’s monarchic control over the software. I just read in a article that a two apps that Apple approved by mistake are being yanked from phones. I do not want Apple to be able to access my phone at that level whenever it likes. I haven’t looked at Android phones very closely, but I will if it becomes enough of a value for me to move to a smart phone. Windows phones I will avoid on principle. Microsoft has never done a very good job of writing secure software and I use Macintosh computers primarily. If Windows phones have Mac compatibility it is likely to be basic, buggy and subject to abandonment at any time.


    Smartphone: Not enough value to me for the extra cost
    iPad: I create much more than I consume so a laptop fits me better.
    iPod: Classic! Nanos, Touch’s and Shuffle’s don’t have enough storage.
    Computers: Mac. I don’t want to deworm a PC every week and I don’t want to remember cryptic commands.
    Camera: Canon. Nikon builds excellent product too, but I started with Canon and that’s what my support group uses.

    • I’m going to start mentioning the iPhone in every post since it brings out all the folks who seem to think everything is somehow related to the smartphone world. EVEN DLSRS????????????

  9. Rah rah, bring on the flames. My phone is better than your phone. It’s a great debate, just like Nikon vs Canon :-)

    P.S. The new Nikon remote DSLR control app has to do with Smartphones – it was on Android before iOS, Nyeah Nyeah.

    In case anyone’s sarcasm sensor needs dust-cleaning, the above is all tongue-in-cheek!!!!! Seriously, another terrific post, Scott. Keep smiling and pick whichever you want, whichever works best for how you use it.

  10. Great post Scott;
    I love my iphone and will probably upgrade when my contract is up in 5 months. I couldn’t even open the attachments from my camera club email on my PC. But open the mail on the iphone and was given many chioces to view the attachments. I have a lot of problems with droid apps on our galaxy tab as well so I prefer apple & itunes.

  11. Before knocking Windows Phones, you should check out the new Win8 phones when they come out. The interface is very user friendly. The new Nokia phones coming out are very impressive & Samsung will also have some good options. You still might like your iPhone better, but at least give it a chance.

    A Sprint rep told my wife that for a user friendly interface to get either an iPhone or Windows phone. He also stated Sprint was very interested in Win8 based phones. So hoping that means they will more than 1 Win8 based phone.

    Take a look at what is being said about the Nokia 820/920. It is a pretty impressive phone.

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